Checking in to my first flight:

Cute Airline Check-in Employee: Enjoy your flight!

Me: You too! Oh wait, damn it…(yup, real smooth Ian)

I couldn’t even make it off the plane before having my first accident. Naturally, it was dairy related. For breakfast, they were serving an english muffin stuffed with gooey cheese which looked entirely worth popping a dairy pill for. The problem was that the pills were located below my feet and the food and drinks had already been placed on my lap tray. It was a pretty delicate operation, but I was confident that I was graceful enough to maneuver to it. Boy was I wrong. I was actually able to grab the pill case in my bag, but on the way up, we hit some turbulence which jerked my knee up and knocked everything off the tray. Consequently, my juice spilled all over my pants and socks. It basically looked like I urinated all over my leg. You can imagine the impression I made clearing customs. At least I didn’t have a nosebleed this time. Oh, the cheesy english muffin fell and rolled around all over the nasty plane floor too of course. It was still delicious though.

It’s been just over a week now and I can proudly say that all my organs are still intact and that I have not been robbed. What’s even more surprising is that I have made several long distance journeys on trains, planes and even busses and have yet to throw up. I’ve been considering keeping the vomit bags from each leg of the journey as badges of honour (or for future trips; I’m confident they won’t go to waste). I did realize that developing scurvy could be a real possibility as the only fruits/vegetables that I’ve had so far have been the small chunks of strawberries and oranges in sangria. I guess I’ll just have to drink more of it…

Porto

My first stop on this journey was the beautiful city of Porto, Portugal. The architecture was quite unique. No two neighbourhoods looked the same, nor were any two houses on a street the same colour. Being situated on a river, I was able to capture this spectacular view of the city by crossing the main bridge to the adjacent town.

What I painfully learned after arrival was that Portugal is extremely hilly. You’ll never see a stretch of road that’s flat for more than 100 metres. This was even more significant when I stumbled into the college town of Coimbra, which I’ll touch upon below. If the rest of Europe is like this, all the presumptions on how much weight i’ll gain on this trip will likely be quashed. But then again, I’ve been eating out every meal and have not held back whatsoever.

So to no surprise, Porto is home to Port wine. From what I gathered from one of the cellar tours, this type of wine is generally sweeter, thicker and consisting of a higher alcohol percentage. The reason for this is because they add alcohol, such as brandy, early on in the process to halt fermentation, thus leaving a higher sugar level. This is evident after each sip as the taste of brandy lingers in your mouth. What they also mentioned on the tour is that many of these producers still juice their grapes by stomping on them with their feet. Look, I’m all about eating food that fell on the floor, but the idea of consuming something that has been crushed by potentially smelly feet just doesn’t sit well with me.

Coimbra

I was originally planning on spending a night in Porto then head to Lisbon on the Friday, but since it was Easter, all the hostels were booked up. I heard there was a college town about two hours away nicknamed the Oxford of Portugal which had availability in terms of accommodations. Google Maps told me that the hostel was about a 40 minute walk from the train station or a $15 Euro cab ride. Trying to save money at every opportunity I can find, I decided to make the walk there. However, I never realized it was ALL uphill. Keep in mind I’m carrying a backpack weighing about 30 pounds. For the frequency that I used to hit up the gym before the trip, I was embarrassed for how tired my legs were (FYI never skip leg day). However, the climb was worth it as the accommodations turned out to be a beautiful Victorian home converted into a hostel.  

Turns out Coimbra is home to one of the oldest and most prestigious universities in Portugal. In fact, it’s the 9th oldest university in the world. Although many of the students were away for the Easter weekend holiday, you can’t escape all the vibes that you can expect from a University town. There were kebab and pizza joints around every corner and bars advertising student nights. I even came across a vending machine in the middle of an intersection where it’s sole purpose was to dispense condoms.

I can imagine that during the normal school week, the town must be brimming with not only smart, but fit students. The reason I say this is because the campus is located at the very top of the biggest hill in town. To get to the main entrance, you have to walk up like 10 flights of stairs. I probably would’ve dropped out after the first week if I went there.

Lisbon

I took a train to Lisbon the next morning and spent the weekend there. This was a huge contrast to the quiet town of Coimbra. Having the largest population in Portugal, it’s arguably the cultural and political centre of the country. As you can see from the picture I took above from one of the hilltop viewpoints, it’s quite the sprawling city. What’s unique (or not unique) about Lisbon, is it takes many influences from other cities. I was a little shocked when I first exited the train station and reached street level as i thought i was in San Francisco. It had the same Victorian style houses as the Californian city and a bridge that was constructed by the same company that built one of its famous bridges. It even has a replica of the Christ the Redeemer statue from Rio.

Lisbon does have it’s own quirky attributes. For example, there was a store that only sold sardines for every year since 1916. Street art is also everywhere in the city. I later learned it’s arguably the graffiti capital of the world.

Lagos

When I talked to the first backpacker I met, he told me that you have to be careful in Lagos. There’s a high probability that you never leave. I learned what he meant after just the second day. I was staying in what was considered a “party” hostel, so there a was a big pub crawl every night in which all the backpackers participated in. So for the sake of writing this blog (#fortheblog), I partied pretty hard that night. However, the next morning I was in really rough shape. I was so hungover, I thought i would have to just sleep all day. One of my new Lagos friends convinced me to go lie on the beach instead, which conveniently was only a 5 minute walk away. Reluctantly, I agreed to get out of bed. So I spent the rest of the afternoon lying on one of the most beautiful beaches I’ve seen. Occasionally, I would actually get up and take a dip in the ocean. Before you know it, it’s 6pm, you’re hangover becomes manageable and your friend hands you an alcoholic beverage. Then the whole cycle starts again.

On the third day, while everybody was nursing their hangovers on the beach from another night out, I decided to suck it up and hike up to a viewpoint that a local told me had the best views in town. It turns out that this hike was one that most moms would freak out about if they heard of the details (yup, sorry mom). The majority of it was on a very narrow path along the cliff and there weren’t any fences to prevent you from falling to your death. There were even certain gaps between rocks where you had to make some pretty big jumps in order to get to. I only saw about two people for the entirety of the hike, so if I did fall off, this blog could’ve gotten a whole lot more interesting (ie. something along the lines of the film 127 Hours starring James Franco).

Fortunately I made it all the way up without having to saw my own arm off and it was definitely worth it. They were some of the most picturesque views I’ve seen. This made it even harder to leave.

Food

As most of you know, I love all food. There’s pretty much nothing I don’t like and I’m always down to try everything. Here are a few things that stood out in Portugal.

Porto

Francesinha

How can you go wrong with a sandwich filled with an assortment of meats, covered with melted cheese and slathered with a beer based gravy? It’s definitely an artery clogger, but it’s the most well-known sandwich in Porto.

Deliciousness to risk of dairy explosion ratio: medium to high

This Bun

I was about to board a four hour train ride when I realized that I should probably have a snack. I was enjoying this custard bun, before this fly decided it wanted in too. Ian doesn’t share food.

Deliciousness ratio: Low

Coimbra

Monkfish stew

I’m a big fan of seafood and Portugal is definitely the place for it. I’ve never had monk fish before, nor did I know what it was but i decided to give it a try. The stew of fish, shrimp and rice was simmered until the rice was al dente. I was salivating after the first bite. Looking around at all the other tables, I realized that it was a dish for two people, but the shame didn’t stop me from eating it all myself. The only problem was when I typed in monkfish in google. It’s this ugly looking creature.

Lisbon

Pasteis de Nata

If I wasn’t lactose intolerant, I probably could take down a few dozen of these babies. These custard tarts are perfectly sweet and creamy on the inside and oh so crumbly on the outside. Heaven in a bite.

Deliciousness to risk of dairy explosion ratio: high

Fish

Fish and seafood are a big part of Lisbon cuisine. At pretty much any restaurant, you’re able to order whole grilled fish marinated in olive oil and garlic. It’s a shame that this is not more common in North America.

Lagos

Pizza

Lagos may be home to one of the best pizzas I’ve ever had in Europe, and I’ve even been to Rome. And yes, I was completely sober when making this assessment. You can order an entire pizza that most people couldn’t finish for 6 euros. I was thinking of ordering three for myself.

Churrasqueira Chicken

I’ve been searching all over for a Portuguese barbecue chicken place and finally found it in Lagos. It did not disappoint. For only 6 euros, you get your choice of potatoes or rice and half a chicken that has been barbecued on the grill until perfection, then doused with its own juices and the famous piri piri sauce. I had this everyday during my time in Lagos.

Concluding Thoughts

You may notice that all the pictures that I’ve posted so far do not include me in them. The reason for this is because I haven’t mastered how to pose for a photo. Specifically, I have no idea what to do with my hands. I know girls generally have techniques, but what are men supposed to do? To make things worse, I’m so caught up focusing on my arm placement, I forget to smile properly and the result is a face of someone who just stepped on dog poop. So if you have any ideas or suggestions, please send them my way. I pretty much want to throw up in my mouth scrolling through my pictures…

This is also my first real blog post ever, so please let me know what you think below! I appreciate any suggestions or general critique. I’m still trying to figure out how I want to structure this or even what I should focus on, so if there’s anything you think I should write about, let me know. Also, if you want an alert each time I post a blog, all you have to do is type in your e-mail in the box on the right. Follow ianployment on instagram for more frequent photos of my trip. I’ll be talking about Spain in my next post where I had the most odd bar experience ever and also attended the much controversial bull fight.