I arrived in Switzerland for my first Workaway volunteer experience that mainly involved babysitting a family’s child. Yup, someone actually thought my profile checked out that they invited me to stay at their home for about a week for free in exchange for babysitting their five-year-old daughter and doing some work around the house. As I mentioned in my previous post that you can find here, I’ve never babysat in my life. The little girl didn’t understand a word of English. I don’t speak a lick of Swiss-German. To their defence, I may or may not have added a few skills to beef up my profile. Here’s an excerpt:

Claim: Kids love me!
Reality: 100% based on my own reviews. A while back, I thought it would be fun to jump out of the dark of the basement and scare my cousin’s kid. They’ve had some issues with basements since.

Claim: I enjoy playing with kids
Reality: Took my cousin’s kid to the playground and had to take an indefinite timeout as I got sick and was about to throw up on the swings.

Claim: I’m a great cook
Reality: I’ve given myself Salmonella at least twice a year since I moved out

Claim: I’m a handyman
Reality: I’ve never successfully built a piece of Ikea furniture without being left with a bunch of extra pieces.

Claim: I’m a responsible and mature adult
Reality: lol…

To prepare myself for the week, I decided to stay in Zurich for a night before heading to Weggis where the family lived.

Zurich

After arriving into the city, it was easy to see why Zurich is often ranked one of the best places to live in the world. The streets were immaculate. Its old town rivals any in Europe in terms of beauty with its cobblestone lanes, towering church steeples and charming buildings. If that wasn’t enough, a serene river runs through the old town and flows into Lake Zurich, where the Alps stand tall in the background.

 

Even the people seemed to be stand up citizens! As I was on the train out of the airport, there was a lady with her baby in a stroller and as she reached the doors of the train, two young lads rushed out of their seats to help her carry the stroller up.

Then I got hungry and went on a search for food when I realized how expensive the country was. I went to grab a bottle of water from the vending machine and it was $4 Canadian Dollars! A lunch at any restaurant would set you back at least $32 CAD. Just a Whopper Burger combo costs $18! With my limited budget, I had to resort to the supermarket for all my meals, and even there I had to control myself. I couldn’t even justify buying cheese or dressing for my sandwiches, I could only afford a bun and a package of cold cuts that had a picture of a chicken, pig and cow on it. I’m pretty sure that same meat is sold as pet food back home. I did splurge one time and purchased a sausage on a bun from a street vendor which ran me $12. That could’ve bought me four in Toronto!

To its defence, jobs paid extremely well in Switzerland. Out of curiosity, I decided to check what my role would’ve brought in if I worked in the country and I almost fell out of my chair. On average, a person in my position would be making approximately 70% more than what I made in Canada!

I was actually hoping to spend a few more days in Zurich, but the hostel prices were astronomical. The cheapest I found was $50/night while most were about $75. So I basically had to cram all the sightseeing in one day. Luckily it wasn’t hard when you can’t afford to get into any attractions. So I resorted to wandering the streets.

I felt like such a bum walking through downtown with my embarrassing take on a sandwich in hand. The streets were lined with luxury brands and the nicest cars. It seemed like driving a Lamborghini was standard in the city. I swear, the worst car I came across for a two hour stretch was a Mercedes-Benz. I walked by a thrift store and realized that I couldn’t even afford anything in there.

Weggis

In order to get to my host’s home, I had to take a 50-minute train ride that cost $50 to Lucerne and a boat to the little town of Weggis that cost another $30. The cost of the journey more than doubled my flight over here. And to think that people commute from Weggis to Zurich for work on a daily basis.

My host was gracious enough to pick me up from the pier. Although we’ve never met or even had a video chat, I figured that since it was such a small town, I didn’t have to bother with describing my appearance (ie. Look for the guy who looks green/about to throw up). I just assumed that I’d be the only Asian person which he could easily pick out. Of course, there happened to be another one similarly aged on my boat.

Other than a small thumbnail profile picture, I wasn’t entirely sure what he looked like either. When we arrived at the pier, there happened to be two white guys who looked quite similar, at least to me. But for the first time, luck was on my side and I approached the correct one.

When we arrived at his house, I was in complete awe. It was situated right by the lake and was one of the nicest houses I’ve been in. I even had my own ensuite bathroom! You have no idea how nice it is not to have to listen/smell people doing their business while brushing your teeth.

The town of Weggis couldn’t have been more picturesque. The population of roughly 4,000 get to call a beautiful green landscape on the lake surrounded by the Swiss Alps home. It honestly looked as if it was straight out of a movie set.

That first night, we had dinner and discussed how the week would go. It was during that meal that I discovered that Swiss people don’t eat. When I got to the table, they brought out bread, a variety of cheese, cold cuts and some jam. In my head, I was thinking, “Wow, this is a pretty expansive appetizer spread, I’m pumped to see what the entree is”. That main course, nor any other course came out. It turns out that’s the typical Swiss supper; just bread, a spread of cheese and sometimes cold cuts. Not wanting to scare the crap out of them with my appetite on the first day, I only had a few pieces of bread and some cold cuts. Within an hour, I was absolutely starving. It was 6 pm.

The next morning, I woke up very intrigued to see what was for breakfast. Maybe they go all out to start the day and just eat less later on? Nope. Breakfast was even more depressing. It was essentially dinner without the meat and cheese. So just bread. However, to make up for the lack of calories from the night before and expecting that lunch could very well be just a spoonful of butter, I went to town on that bread.

They told me to explore the town that morning before meeting them for lunch at their shop around the corner from their house. I went for what might have been the most perfect leisurely walk. The sun was out and the weather was absolutely perfect; not too hot, not too cold. I was treated to the sounds of birds chirping, trees rustling in the wind, water splashing against the rocks, a man yodelling from above the mountains…The views of the lake in the foreground and the Alps in the background were absolutely breathtaking. There also weren’t any other tourists!

When lunch rolled around, I headed to their shop and met a few of the employees who were all very nice. One, in particular, was around my age whom I thought was quite cute. We all had lunch together and to my surprise, it was actually a hot meal! And there was meat! On the menu was spaghetti and meat sauce and I was ecstatic. While they all talked in Swiss about business, I discretely helped myself to about forty servings. Along with the meal, they served this clear pop drink called Rivella which they described as the national drink of Switzerland. I thought it tasted pretty good and they kept pouring me more. After my fourth glass, one of the staff goes, “It’s good right! Can you believe it’s made from milk?” I nearly sprayed my mouthful all over the poor lady sitting across from me. I was honestly trying not to blurt out “YOU TELL ME AFTER MY FOURTH GLASS THAT THIS DRINK HAS MILK IN IT??? WHAT KIND OF POP HAS MILK IN IT??”. I looked it up and this was the description from Wikipedia:

Rivella is a soft drink from Switzerland, created by Robert Barth in 1952, which is produced from milk whey, and therefore includes ingredients such as lactose, lactic acid and minerals.

In my mind, I was like, “Great. I’m not even going to make it past a full day with the family after they kick me out for the horrors they’re about to witness next”. I won’t lie to you, there was a very small part of me that considered blaming the child for whatever smells would surface that day.

Luckily for everyone, I was able to spend the afternoon outdoors. My job for the day was to power wash their deck. Sounds simple and straightforward enough, but may I remind you that this is me. While I was in the midst of spraying down the deck, my host decided to turn on the robot that automatically mows the lawn. As I was washing away, I suddenly heard a crack and the water stopped flowing. I whipped my head around and immediately, the hose burst and water spewed in every direction. It turns out the robot ran over the hose and punctured it. Water was spraying everywhere. In the places I cleaned, to places that shouldn’t have gotten wet. To summarize, on my first assigned task, I not only broke their machine but also made their place look dirtier than to begin with. Great start.

The next morning at breakfast, they asked whether I was awoken by their daughter who went to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I found that rather an odd question. Then I remembered that someone told me people don’t flush the toilet in Switzerland after 10 pm. I further recalled that I went to the washroom that night. I realized that, in the most Swiss way possible, it was their way of informing me to not flush at night. To make sure I didn’t mess up an already awful experience for the hosts, I decided to look up other peculiar customs or laws they have in the super conservative country:

• In some cantons, men can not pee standing up after 10 pm
• On Sundays you are not allowed to:
  – recycle
  – mow your lawn
  – hang laundry out to dry
  – You can’t hike naked
• Every house must have access to a nuclear bunker
• My personal favourite: You can’t ski while reciting poetry

Source: Rose, E. (2015, February 19). Ten of the wackiest Swiss laws. Retrieved October 21, 2017, from https://www.timeout.com/switzerland/blog/ten-of-the-wackiest-swiss-laws

My task today was to help my host set up some furniture at their cottage home situated on Mount Rigi. Although it was a pain in the ass transporting an entire cabinet up a mountain, this gave me the opportunity to hike up to the peak after we were finished, which was supposed to offer amazing views of the towns and three surrounding lakes.

My host offered to pay for my ticket on the cable car to reach the peak which cost nearly $50, but I decided I wanted to earn the views. The hike up was magnificent. The path brought me through some spectacular views of the towns from above and the beautiful lakes with the Alps in the backdrop.

Going down was a different story. There happened to be a path that could take me all the way back to Weggis. It was absolutely brutal. As the afternoon rolled around, it started getting really hot. The sun was just beaming and the majority of the walk down was not shaded. The path was extremely steep. I also made the mistake of having a few premature celebration beers at the top and was feeling quite sluggish after. For the next five hours, the closest thing I saw to a human being was a completely mangled dead bird which I’m pretty sure was ravaged by wolves. At that point, I was so exhausted that in my mind, being eaten by a pack of wolves wouldn’t have been the worst thing as I no longer had to walk.

Fortunately, I got some good news when I finally made it back to the house. My host informed me that the cute girl from his shop offered to take me out for drinks and show me around the city of Lucerne the next evening if I was interested. I obliged.

The next day, my host and I went to a nearby lake to set up his trailer/cottage for the upcoming season. He assured me that we would have enough time to head back home so I could clean up before I head to the city in the evening. The problem was he wasn’t much of a handyman and nor was I. So it took a little longer than expected, but we actually had it standing before we left, which means that I’m definitely putting that on my Workaway profile now. 100% sure that it probably fell over within a month though. Anyway, we didn’t have time to go back to the house, so he decided to just drop me off in Lucerne. Since we were working in the sun all day, I was already quite sweaty and probably didn’t smell the nicest, but as we approached the city, my host decided to drop this little tidbit, “Oh did she tell you that she won the city beauty pageant contest last year?”. More sweating ensued.

Surprisingly, the evening, for the most part, went quite well. We went to see all the major sights while popping into bars in between. At one of them, she asked me what I wanted to eat, and I asked her to just make the decision for me. She ordered a dish loaded with cheese, which normally wouldn’t be a problem since I carry my pills on me all the time. I reached into my pocket and to my horror, I realized I left them in the car. Of course. I thought it would’ve looked quite odd of me not to eat after I specifically asked her to make the order. So I ate it and just wished for the best.

As luck would have it, I didn’t explode from the dairy during the duration we were together. In fact, it went so well that evening that she invited me to go out with her and her girlfriends Friday night. I was like wow, I somehow didn’t blow this as I typically tend to do. Not so fast. At the end of the evening, she approached for what I thought was a hug, but at the last second, she aimed her cheek at me. Hesitating for a moment, I gave her a peck on the cheek. Thinking that was it, I leaned back, but then she offered her other cheek. I awkwardly went in for the other cheek. Thinking surely that must’ve been it, I retreated, but she kind of positioned herself for a third one! Not sure what was customary in Switzerland, I just froze and stood there for the most awkward half a second ever before she gave up and went off. I shortly found out that it’s three kisses in Switzerland. I felt like the biggest idiot on the ride home, but things got worse.

It was around 9:40 by the time I got back into town, so pretty much 20 minutes before its lights out for the entire country. As per usual, I got a little lost jumping off the bus and reached the house a little after 10. As I reached into my pocket for the house keys, I realized I left those in the car too! Kill me now. So my choices were to either ring the doorbell and wake up the toddler or sneak through the back and hope the door was open. I decided to go for option number two. Looking like a burglar, I tiptoed around to the back but found out the door was locked. The good thing was I saw that the TV was still on in the living room, so I decided to head there and lightly tap on the window. Yup, I completely scared the crap out of my host’s wife. I’ve never seen such a terrified look in my life. Thinking back on it now, if I was in her position, I likely would’ve wet myself. Seeing a random person outside your window just smiling and waving in the middle of the night can be a pretty horrifying sight.

Concluding Thoughts

You guys are probably wondering how all the babysitting went. I killed it. The daughter absolutely loved me. She cried when I left. She even invited me to see her act in her school play!

I actually ended up staying a few more days than I originally intended. It was hard to leave such an amazing place with such a great host family! I felt sorry for them that I had to be their first Workawayer. The one positive was that I set the yardstick quite low for all future volunteers.

With absolutely zero plans in place, I ended up using the feature on Skyscanner.net which lists the cheapest places to fly to from wherever you are. Warsaw was on the top of the list, so that’s where I’ll be headed next!