After three weeks, I finally had my first ankle sprain. And then another one two days later. I wish I could report that these injuries were sustained doing something cool such as climbing mountains or running away from bulls, but unfortunately, it was much less glamorous. Cobblestone streets in Belgium seemed to be my Kryptonite. The worst part is that I just booked my flight to Italy in a few days for the sole purpose of hiking Cinque Terre, so that will be fun on two bum ankles.

I experienced first-hand what it’s like to sleep in a room with a fellow snorer. I tend to try book rooms in hostels that sleep six people or less out of courtesy so I won’t piss too many people off with my snoring. When I got to the hostel, I was happy to hear that there would only be two other people in my room, so I expected to have a pretty decent sleep. It turns out one of my roommates was also a massive snorer, and yeah, it sucks. I felt really bad for our other roommate to having to sleep through our synchronized orchestra. After this episode, I want to apologize to all the people that have been unlucky enough to be put in the same room as me.

With its proximity to the Netherlands and the fact that it’s quite cheap to fly out of Brussels, I decided to spend a few days exploring the centre of Europe.

ANTWERP

I pretty much didn’t know that this city existed until a few people suggested that I make a stop in the diamond capital of the world. It turns out that Antwerp is a very hip city with a gorgeous Old Town. I spent a solid half an hour just sitting on a bench and marvelling at the buildings that surrounded Grote Markt which is the main town square. The best part was the fact that it hasn’t been bombarded with tour busses yet. Once all the businesses close shop at around six, the Old Town is basically deserted. This was great for me as I basically had free reign at all the major attractions.

Its central train station is certainly one of the most beautiful ones I’ve seen. The place looked more like a royal palace!

The city is also home to one of the longest wooden escalators in the world. With a river lying through the centre of the city, this escalator takes you 31 metres below the river and to an underground tunnel which takes you to the other side of the city. Considering it was built in the 1930’s it’s still quite well preserved. The only issue was that the handrail would travel faster than the steps which completely threw me off guard at first.

I heard there was a beautiful little alleyway in Old Town that most tourists miss when they’re in Antwerp. Wandering through the city one day, I came across a gate nudged between two restaurants that invite you into this serene little alley.

Stepping into this area felt like I was transported back a few centuries. The few houses and shops seem to be untouched for years. Around the corner was this cute courtyard cafe that looked destined to be a stock photo.

As I approached the end of the street, I realized the alley wasn’t so secret after all as a former two Michelin star chef opened up a fancy restaurant there.

Brussels

On the contrary, Brussels seemed like a tourist hotspot as tour buses came into the city in droves. It was almost impossible to get a picture without seeing a selfie stick being employed in the background. During the weekend that I was there, it seemed that there was some sort of festival at every corner, Right in front of the King’s office, was a free EDM concert lined with a bunch of food trucks.

I’ve seen a lot of attractions over the last few months, but Brussels might take the cake for the most overrated attraction. The most famous figure in the city is called the Manekkin Pis and is literally just a figure of a baby measuring at about a foot peeing into a reservoir.

Of course, all the tour groups were going crazy over it. It’s been embraced by the city and its figure has been used just about everywhere. In fact, I found this guy, who I’ve deemed to be my spirit mannequin for obvious reasons (always eating and documented public urinator).

To add to the list of overrated attractions is the Museum of Beer. Being situated in the main square, I should have definitely lowered my expectations, but that still wouldn’t have done it any justice. You get lured in with the fact that it’s housed in the original beer building of Belgium and you get a glass of the good stuff, but the museum only consists of one room where you watch a movie on how beer is made and how it’s great for society. All stuff I already knew…

On the walking tour that I took part in, the guide took us to this statue of a guy named Everard T’serclaes who is deemed to provide good luck. Specifically, you rub the knee to find true love and his arm for better prospects of a one night stand. I couldn’t help but laugh to see all the older ladies from another tour group rub its arm as they were passing by. Oh, they knew what was going on.

FOOD

Instead of paying to enter the many wonderful museums in Brussels, I decided to spend my dough on food.

Antwerp

Kipling at Fish a’gogo

I came across this small little seafood shop near the main square and had some of the best tasting fish. It was literally a hole in the wall, with only one table inside. At the suggestion of the cook, I ordered the deep fried kipling and it was amazing. The fish was super fresh, lightly battered and fried golden brown. It was seasoned lightly with salt and a few other spices and served with homemade tartar sauce that featured a lot of dill.

I had a chat with the owner and after being open for just under a year, the little shop has climbed to one of the highest ranked food establishments on TripAdvisor. He explained that what sets his place apart from the many other places that sell kipling is the fact that although he charges a little more, he uses much higher quality fish.

Kapsalon

For the amount of times I’ve gone out drinking on this trip, I’ve been craving my usual post-bar poutine. I’ve finally found something close in kapsalon. Chicken shawarma, salad with thousand island dressing and melted cheese was layered on top of a bed of french fries. Although I’m sure there were probably other places that served better versions of this dish, I was liking the idea of it.

Brussels

Waffles

As you may know, Belgium is known for its waffles. Although locals only eat them plain, possibly with some powdered sugar on them, the versions you can get are endless and generally involve a ton of calories. You can get them piled high with ice cream, syrup, fruits, whipped cream and chocolate. Since I fall under the tourist category, I went for the ones loaded with diabetes and it was glorious. The waffle was nice and crispy on the outside, but soft on the inside.

Escargot at Chez Jeff & Fils

I came across this little kiosk near the centre of the city that was known for its escargot and even though it was 10 am, I knew I had to give it a try. When they handed me the dish, I was shocked to see how massive these things were! I’ve only eaten snails a few times in the past, but they were generally quite small. These babies were the size of my thumb.

Although I’ve only had a small sample size of escargot, these were definitely the best I’ve ever eaten. They were extremely fresh, with a briny earthy taste to them. What made them even better was the spicy white wine broth that they were cooked in. If given the opportunity, I 100% could chug about a litre of that stuff.

Crickets

Ever since watching Lion King as a kid, I had a deep curiosity with eating bugs. To my super fat 6-year-old self, those bugs that Timone and Pumba introduced to Simba during the Hakuna Matata scene looked delicious and was something I’ve always wanted to try. At one of the many food trucks that weekend, there was one that specialized in selling bugs. I decided to try the grilled cricket kebabs. They were essentially crickets slathered in teriyaki sauce and popped on the grill. Unfortunately, they didn’t live up to all the expectations that have been building up in my head, but it won’t stop me from giving it another chance when the opportunity presents itself.

Fries burger

Along with beer and chocolate, Belgians are known for their fries. A popular way to eat these fried potatoes is between a baguette on top of various grilled meats. I like to have my food separated from each other, so I wasn’t sure if I was going to like it, but it actually was really good. Although impossible to cram all its contents in one bite, the marriage of mayonnaise, fries, sausage, burger and bun turned out to be great.

Concluding Thoughts

Since it’s my birthday next week and none of my friends are around to celebrate with, I fully intend to eat everything in Italy to compensate for the sadness. Since I lost my pill case in the Netherlands, I still haven’t found a replacement or substitute to carry the medication around. If anyone has any McGyver ideas, please send me a message. If not, I’ll probably just jam the entire pill bottle in my pocket wherever I go. Or maybe it’s finally time to determine whether it’s really true that you can out eat the intolerance. For your sake, wish me luck Italy.